Peace for the Day

Devotions for our daily angst.


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Just Breathe

Be still and know (recognize, understand) that I am God. (Psalms 46:10 AMP)

 If you read this blog regularly, you know that decision making is not one of my strong suits. Whether it’s due to an alcoholic father, the need to be good enough, fear of failing, or all them wrapped together in one anxiety-ridden ball, the ability to make decisions haunts me.

 Really. I’m sixty. I should be over this.

It all started with an opening on the Maryland Writers’ Association (MWA) board.

Buckle up. Here goes nothing. This is the real me – unwrapped and uncensored.

Twenty hours a month to be president of MWA but how much time would I spend thinking about it and what do You think I should do can’t You text me it would be so much easier that way and no I don’t know why I want to do it other than the opportunity is there and what about my writing there’s not enough time for the writing especially with the chunk of time pulled out in the middle of the week to work and I’m not complaining Lord no I am not thank you for this job it’s perfect but it is a lot of time and I may not have much time left one of my classmates died in January that’s it for her over kaput done and what if that happens to me You gave me an idea for the next novel but I don’t know how to execute it and maybe I should just give it up and what if the idea isn’t from You anyway but it’s so cool so it has to be from You but please help me figure out the best way to tell the story it’s so interesting but maybe I should just write funny maybe that’s what I should be doing or not writing at all because I can’t really write and I’ll never succeed but wait I already have succeeded and been published and been told by people who should know that I can write so just be quiet self then there’s the cat and the operation and his age and the money what to do did You notice the heat pump sounds funny what if we have to repair that Lord I just don’t know what to do and I need You and I can never get myself quiet not anymore it’s too hard oh my head it’s going to explode.

It continues as I get in the car to drive to work. All the radio news stations – left, right, and middle – are on commercial. (It’s a conspiracy.) The Joel Osteen channel is taking callers. I prefer to hear him preach. In desperation, I flip to the Christian station and I hear these words by Jonny Diaz being sung.

 JUST BREATHE

Just breathe. Come and rest at My feet. And be, just be. Chaos calls, but all you really need is to just breathe.

 I laugh out loud. The tension, that wrapped-tight-around-the-gut tension, melts away. God has got a sense of humor. And He didn’t even need to text me. ©

 

 

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Focus

krpaD[1]“So let us seize and hold fast and retain without wavering the hope we cherish and confess and acknowledge, for He who promised is reliable and faithful to His word.” (Hebrews 10:23 AMP)

“…for I know Him whom I have believed and I am persuaded that He is able to guard and keep that which has been entrusted to me and which I have committed to Him until that day.” (II Timothy 1:12 AMP)

When my daughter exhorts her little girls to focus, she uses her hands like the ground crew uses wands to lead a plane to the dock. “Focus,” she tells them moving her hands from the side of her face to theirs. “Focus.”

It’s been a difficult few months. I write a devotional about angst, yet I’ve been so filled with anxiety I couldn’t write about it. It’s a family matter. There’s a rift. One that I alone can’t fix. I tried and only made the situation worse. I know in my heart it’s going to take God’s intervention to close the chasm, heal the wound, and bring restoration. But, I can’t seem to let it go and admit, “Katherine can’t fix this. “

Intellectually, I know what’s required. Pray, let go, and trust God to do what He said He would do. Instead, I pick at the open wound. I pray. I journal. I discuss with friends. I give the situation to God and then, almost immediately, I start picking again. If I owned a string of worry beads, I’d be clicking them to distraction.

To be honest, I need God, the Living God, to help me. And He did. He reminded me of an event that occurred when I first knew Him.

Before our second child was born, we learned that our insurance wasn’t enforce and we’d need what for us was a substantial amount of money to give to the hospital before giving birth. I sought God with all my heart. He showed me a picture of myself following behind Him holding on to the train of his robe. I heard in my heart, “Hold on tight.” It wasn’t weird. There were no bright lights or trumpets blaring. Just a quick flash of a picture.

By the time I gave birth, I was clinging to the robe with all my might. In doing so, I was forced to keep my eyes right where they needed to be – focused on Jesus.

God provided the money through a group of prayer warriors. These special women taught me so much about God, prayer, the Bible, and giving that I am forever grateful to them.

I’m thankful for the reminder and am determined to hold on to Him just like I did as a young mother. He who promised is faithful.

I pray that whatever your situation is God will show Himself faithful and fulfill His word in your life. May He fill you with his presence and meet every need according to His riches in glory. In Jesus name. Amen.

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