“For we walk by faith, not by sight.” 2 Corinthians 5:7 ESV
It’s been a while since the Lord and I have hung out. I’ve been busy and preoccupied with my mother’s slow decline to death. It took precedence over everything, even living. God was definitely with us during those difficult days. There is no doubt his presence permeated the room when she breathed her last breath as we sang the final note of Amazing Grace.
The funeral is over and I still mourn, but it’s time to walk alone with my Father along the shore or meet up in the cool of the day in the garden to sit on the glider and chat.
The first morning I tried to get back into a routine, all I did was fidget. I read the Bible but the words didn’t register. This happened on the second morning and the third and so on. I tried to journal. That’s what I do. I pray through journaling. It didn’t bring the satisfaction it normally does. Even prayer walking didn’t work. It became easier and easier to say a quick “Hey God” then reach for the cell phone to call my sister or friends. When they answered with “Hello”, I heard their voices loud and clear. I felt their clucks of understanding and compassion.
I began to wonder why communicating with God wasn’t as easy as picking up a phone and dialing his number? Being an impatient youngest child, I am prone to stamping my feet when I don’t get my way. And what I wanted was God to talk to me as clearly as I spoke to him. After all, I did close my mouth occasionally to listen.
Then, a bolt from the past hit me and I remembered the song Operator. Wouldn’t it be great if we could invoke that old Gospel song and get Jesus on the line? With that thought, I found an online video of Dolly Parton singing that very tune with Nell Carter. After tapping my foot and clapping my hands through it one time, I played it again and actually listened to the words.
When Dolly belted out “Prayer is the number and faith is the exchange”, I thought wait a minute. What did she just say? I hit replay to make sure I heard correctly. I did.
This is a faith walk, isn’t it? Not a feeling walk. Now I remember. It would appear God has no problems communicating with me after all.
Father – Awaken my ears to listen as a disciple, as one who is taught, that I should know how to speak a word in season to one who is weary. (Isaiah 50:4 KJV) In Jesus’ name. Amen – It shall be so.