This is day nine of my semi-retirement/quit before I was forced out journey. I can and do rationalize almost any event into a reason to procrastinate. Like last night. I could not sleep. I watched the hours tick off – 1 am, 2 am, 3 am… The only solace of the sleeplessness was the fact that I didn’t have to get up to go to work.
Therein is the lie.
Writing is my work. I heard the Lord say that in my heart this week. If I truly believe it is my life’s work, then I better get my bottom out of bed and into the seat of my office chair just like I would for an “official” job with a bi-weekly pay check.
I worked for over 25 years. This from a woman who didn’t really want a profession. My career advanced from compiling 1099’s to running a $90M business. Stress increased with each promotion. Therefore, I ask myself, can’t I take it easy for a few weeks? Play games, exercise, putz around, do nothing?
Perhaps that is a rational thought.
However, I see the future as far as headlights beam down the road on a foggy night. The road is out there but the route is not clear. I don’t know the length of this writing opportunity the Lord has provided whether it’s one mile or a cross country trip. Do I want to be caught chilling in the face of limited time?
Logic bids me take control. Stop rationalizing. Stop resisting the opportunity. This is my time to do what God created me to do – tell stories, play with words, rhyme, dream, write.
Writing is an act of faith. Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. I must believe I am a writer long before anyone else acknowledges that fact. I must persevere in the discipline of writing whether I’m ever recognized as one. In faith, I put fingers to keyboard believing words will emerge to form sentences, paragraphs, chapters, books.
Father – I am extremely (enormously, exceptionally, exceedingly) grateful for this time. Please help me to use it wisely regardless of feelings. Cause me to hear your loving kindness in the morning for in you I trust. Teach me the way I should go for I lift up my soul to you. (Psalm143:8)