There is therefore now no more condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Romans 8:1 RSV
I feel guilty over feeling guilty. It’s true. It leads to kicking myself in the butt with words. I call myself names. Not nice ones. I hang my head and sigh. Again.
Anxiety increases. Faith decreases. Fear rises. Joy falls.
My sister reminded me one day when I was feeling guilty over writing – writing, not writing, playing Wooden Blocks instead of writing, focusing on the wrong story, too many stories too little time, writing God’s story, not writing God’s story, not getting published, OMG what if I do get published, and what oh what if I get it all wrong – that condemnation doesn’t come from the Lord.
So why do I feel so guilty? I ask her.
You’re the daughter of an alcoholic. You feel responsible, that it’s all your fault.
Guilt piled on top of guilt until there’s one gigantic mound of, well, crap.
That’s exactly what it is. Crap. The enemy is more than happy to keep me contained with an invisible fence of guilt. He doesn’t even have to do any work. Being at the ready to convict myself, I do it all for him.
But what if I took God at His word and believed what He said?
If He doesn’t condemn me, who am I to condemn myself?
It’s been a lifelong fight that continues to be an ongoing battle. One that needs to be stopped before it even starts.
I take my stand.
Yo! You, girl in the mirror. Listen up. Stop it. God says you’re not guilty. Lies be quiet. Negative thoughts back off. You have the mind of Christ so take those thoughts captive. You are more than a conqueror. Now act like it. If God hasn’t given you a spirit of fear but of power, love, and a sound mind, get up off the ground and stop wallowing. Move.
Slowly, but surely the vise grip of anxiety loosens and I can breathe again.